Nikki Glaser returned to the Golden Globes stage with a fresh monologue that jabbed at Leonardo DiCaprio, the Epstein files and CBS News. Right out the gate, she addressed one of this year’s biggest stories in Hollywood.
“Let’s get down to business: We’ll start the bidding for Warner bros. At five dollars. Do I hear five dollars?” Glaser quipped to big applause.
In a joke that started with a nod to the Epstein files and ended with a dig at the network airing the kudocast, Glaser said, “So many A-listers — and by A-listers, I mean people who are on ‘A list’ that has been heavily redacted. The Golden Globe for best editing goes to… the Justice Department! Yes, congratulations. And the award for most editing goes to CBS news. Yes. CBS news: America’s newest place to ‘See B.S. News.’”
Early on in the monologue, Glaser singled out George Clooney and said, “I’ve always wanted to ask you something, and I know this is unprofessional, but I may never get the chance again, so here goes: My Nespressos keep coming out watery … Do you think it might be the filter? Could you troubleshoot?” Clooney played along, mouthing back to her with a straight face.
To Leonardo DiCaprio: “What a career you have had. Countless iconic performances. You’ve worked with every great director, you’ve won three Golden Globes and an Oscar. The most impressive thing is that you were able to accomplish that all before your girlfriend turned 30.”
Acknowledging the lack of originality in that punchline, Glaser added, “Leo, I’m sorry I made that joke. It is cheap. I tried not to, but, like, we don’t know anything else about you, man. There’s nothing else. Open up! I’m serious! I looked! I searched! The most in-depth interview you’ve ever given was for Teen Beat magazine in 1991. Is your favorite food still ‘Pasta, pasta and more pasta?’”
Turning her attention to Dwayne Johnson, Glaser said, “The Rock is nominated tonight, and luckily for him, the TV show ‘The Paper’ is not, so he might win.” After some laughter, she added, “That’s a fun one.”
Glaser made her Golden Globes hosting debut in 2025 and was swiftly rehired after her edgy-but-not-over-the-line jokes about “Wicked’s” gay fan base and Stanley Tucci’s “freak-offs” went over well with the starry crowd and viewers at home.
In November, Glaser hosted “Saturday Night Live,” and she’s co-writing and starring in an upcoming rom-com produced by Judd Apatow. She also has a Hulu comedy special coming out in 2026.
Variety parent company PMC owns Golden Globes producer Dick Clark Prods. in a joint venture with Eldridge.
